So my boyfriend and I started having sex 6 months ago, and this week we had a bit of a pregnancy scare. We're both only 17 so that should be a huge scare. He was completely freaked out. He walked around school like a complete zombie... However, I wasn't worried at all... in fact I was hoping I was pregnant. I don't know what's wrong with me but I really want a baby... I know of all of the consequences. I understand it could ruin my life completely. And for some reason I still wish I were pregnant. I went to my friend's house to take a pregnancy test and it came up negative... I kept my cool around my friends but when I got home I was completely devastated. I wanted it to be positive so badly. Yesterday in school my boyfriend saw how upset I was and told his friend he couldn't go to his party so that he could hang out with me. He said that he wanted to talk about all of this. Unfortunately, when we got home, there were a bunch of problems with the internet at his house and he needed to check if he got into U of I.. he called a friend to find out and his friend said that he didn't... most of the night turned into "let's cheer george up" instead of "let's cheer michaelina up". Fortunately, we started talking about it. I told him that I felt like a complete idiot for wanting this and that I couldn't understand how I could feel this way. I also told him that in a way I was mad at him for not wanting it... I realize that that's unfair, but part of me was feeling that way. I just kept saying how I felt so stupid and he was so nice about all of it. He told me that he didn't feel like I was crazy or anything. He said that he thinks a lot of girls in my situation would also want it. I don't believe him at all, but it was nice to hear that he didn't think I was crazy.
Anyway, the reason I decided to write here when I haven't in so long is that I want to know your opinions... Why do you think I feel this way? Do you think I'm crazy?

Most people don't realize that I am a really sensetive person. I can be a complete bitch, but I don't mean it. Also, my friends and I all say mean stuff jokingly, but I can't always take it all...

   

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so a few months ago i wrote about this guy george. 5 weeks ago i started dating his best friend Michael. I feel like it was just a way to make him jealous or to get over George, so last night i broke up with him. He was completely crushed. However, I was not. Last night I was talking to George while I made my decision, and we discussed a day in the summer where he was supposed to ask me out. Everyone knew he was going to ask me out but he backed out. However, when i asked what was going on, the cover was that this other guy Henry was going to ask me out. When my friend told me it was really George I was so excited. However, then he told me that George wasn't going to do it because he didn't really like me that much. Last night George told me that the reason Eric gave me was a blatant lie. He loved me, but he didn't want to start dating me and then go to another country for a month. He didn't feel that it was fair. Also, he was afraid that his junior year of high school would be too difficult if he added a girlfriend to the mix. Last night when I asked him when he got over me he said "About when you and michael started dating. major man law to harbor feelings for your friends gf". This made me really angry. I had asked him to homecoming before I started dating Michael, and he turned me down flat very coldly. The topic changed abruptly to how weird Michael was acting and why. (this was all before i broke up with him) Then abruptly the topic changed back to George and I. I said "to tell you the truth, Michael was just a way to get over you that backfired. I thought getting my mind off of you and onto someone else would help me get over you but really not being able to have you just made me want you more" and george said, "you know what? honestly, i never got over you. i still like you.." and then things went bad. we realized how difficult this is going to be on michael and it got hard. but you know what? we're both so happy that i broke up with michael. and we're going to give it a few weeks before we start dating so that we don't ruin our friendships with him. but i am so happy now. so relieved. it feels nice.